Life can be disappointing when there is no passion in it, and the passion has died out.
One definition of passion describes it as "a strong and barely controllable emotion."
When our feelings of passion for another person are aroused, it is hard to think of anything other than that person with whom we are so enthralled. That passion may have been killed by an action or actions of the other person or it may have slowly died over time.
When passion has died in a relationship, it can not only make life boring but it can also be painful. When attempts made to restore some passion to the relationship are ignored or rebuffed, it hurts even worse. Once this has happened a few times, a person is often left with a decision to either live life this way and cope with it, get divorced and hope to find someone new with newfound passion, or stay married and find fulfillment elsewhere through friends, children and or grandchildren or an affair.
Waning passion does not mean the death of a relationship or marriage. What causes a marriage to die is the growing apathy that turns to resentment and anger. If things don't get addressed and changed, the friendship and companionship part of the marriage can be killed, and then a marriage will die.
Can passion be restored in a marriage? Yes, we believe it can be restored, but you must know that there is no magic pill or potion to make it happen. If passion is going to be restored to a marriage; it will take a desire to restore it, ongoing effort to bring it back, and the perseverance to keep at it even when you don't always feel like it.
Here are some of the steps and things involved in an effort to restore passion to a marriage.
1. We believe that if passion is to be restored in a marriage, a decision must be made to restore it. At least one of you has to determine that you want to get back the passion you once had. Passion is a feeling, an emotion. There was a time you did not have to put forth any effort to experience passion in your relationship. It was just there. You couldn't (and didn't want to) turn it off. Passion is very unlikely to just show up like it did at the beginning. Most couples experience it dying off slowly over a period of time with many contributing factors.
To get the passion back requires a desire and a decision to get it back.
Things have been the way they are for so long that it may be difficult for your spouse to believe that anything will really be different.
Why put in the effort if you don't believe it is really going to bring any change. Start on your own if you have to, and at some point, your spouse will see that things really can be different. When that happens and both of you are working at it, your marriage is on the way to recovery.
You must decide if you are willing to make the changes YOU need to make to help save your marriage and restore passion and fulfillment for both of you.
It is also worth looking at the cost of not making the decision to change.
In a recent study designed to uncover "What Keeps Passion Alive In Long-Term Relationships" co-author by Dr. Janet Lever noted that over 1/3 of couples keep their passion alive and well even after one, two or three decades together. Dr. Lever found what most of us already know - but often fail to live out. Passion will not stay alive if a marriage is on auto pilot. For those couples who maintain it over the years, there is a conscious effort to avoid routinization of sex. We believe that it is also important to avoid allowing all the other areas of your marriage to be set on auto pilot.
If you have had enough related to a passionless relationship, it is time to do something that will turn things around. This process is hard to go alone. We can help you plot a strategy that will work in your particular situation.
If you're ready, take the next step now and call 331-308-0113 for a free 15-20 minute phone/Skype consultation. We will tell you about how our process works and you will come away from that call with the information you need to make a decision about how we can best work together.